Monday, January 21, 2013

musings on adoption.

i found myself sharing with ryan while we were out of town last week about my experience about seeing our niece, Bella Marie, for the first time. The reason for sharing the story is irrelevant to this post, but it started a whirlwind of memories and emotions for me as I really thought about the joy that day brought our family. 

[[If you'd like to read the full adoption story of my sister, click here  Bella's Adoption Story]] 

as i thought more and more about that day, my heart stirred about the topic of adoption and what it really means (I also follow one TV show now: Parenthood. I get to see the weekly struggle of a family wrestling with the ins and outs and challenges of adoption as well). I know people have many different reasons to adopt: some feel it's what's right... others biologically cannot procreate or have great difficulty with pregnancy... I'm sure there are reasons I haven't even thought of for adoption. 

Part of me feels a little jaded when it comes to this topic. I grew up with a sister who knew pretty much her whole life that she'd never have children biologically. It was always just a known fact that Chrissy would adopt. We accepted it and knew that we'd love their children just as much as any others in the family. The jaded part comes when I feel like I have a sort of insensitivity or lack of understanding why adoption is always a "last resort" for some. I've heard stories of women having 20+ miscarriages while voicing that "God told them" that they would have a child of their own or others who choose to get pregnant knowing their pregnancy will be difficult and dangerously taxing on them physically. I don't want to get super-offensive here, but my niece is my sister's child... even if she did adopt her. 

My struggle comes from the mindset that "our" children have to come from "our" bodies. I deeply respect and look up to families who adopt. My wish is that adoption could become more accepted among my generation (I believe it's starting to anyway). I get confused... and maybe these are my personal thoughts being posted publicly and shouldn't be... at why couples choose to put up this battle and "fight" for a pregnancy. Hear my heart - I've already said that I believe I'm a little jaded due to my awareness and proximity to adoption. I understand the desire to have child. I just wish there was more awareness of the need for adopting parents where amazing little babies and children can have loving parents... who are obviously willing to do whatever it takes to raise a child in a loving home. 

Not to say that adoption doesn't have challenges and struggles of its own. I don't think it would be "fair" to get the child without the "pains of child bearing" promised to us women in Genesis. Adoption is a beautiful struggle with unending blessings and heartache. That sounds like parenting to me.

But when I look into the eyes of my niece.... There's nothing that can take away how precious she is to our family, how much she has taught us about God's love, and how He has adopted us all. And when I really think about it.... "our" children aren't really "our" children anyway. They're God's.

im thankful.
carrie anne


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