Sunday, March 31, 2013

it's just metal.

Friday night was supposed to be the beginning of a mini-vacation/getaway in Hot Springs for us. We haven't been to Oaklawn this season and planned on watching the races that weekend. Considering the events of last week, I felt like it would be good to get away for a night and have some fun.

We never made it to Hot Springs.

We rushed and rushed after work on Friday to try and get down there at a good time... Until realizing that we'd miss dinner and still get there later. We drove and ate dinner out and took our time after that. It was raining and just nasty weather that night, and our biggest concern was if the races would still go on the next day.

There were at least 2-3 times during the week and even that day that we considered not going at all. We batted the idea around until deciding that it'd still be fun, and we'd enjoy the time together. There are just some times you need to listen to your gut :)

En route to Hot Springs that night, we were edging up toward Mt. Ida. It was still raining, and the road was just soaked. We came up over a hill, and at that point I knew we weren't going to make the next curve in the road. It was a very sharp curve, and with the rain on the road, our car began to spin out of control....

What felt like about 10 minutes was really only a matter of seconds, but I had hundreds of thoughts racing through my head. If you've ridden with me when I've seen/hit an animal before, you know the piercing scream I let out almost instantly. There was no screaming this night. Pure silence from me... I only listened to Ryan saying, "Hold on, baby... Hold on, baby" over and over.

I thought about if we were going to die then... Or get really hurt, how we probably shouldn't have come that night, how maybe Ryan will just whip this car around and get us straight back on the road like a Tokyo drift move... I was scared that what was coming was going to be worse that the fear I felt then... But the funny thing was that I never thought about how this was ruining my car I thought I loved so much. I just remember being so concerned with our safety and how we both needed to be okay for this to not be a big deal...

And turns out -- we were. No scratch, bruise, stiff neck or anything. My car ended up off the road and in a muddy ditch... With 2 popped tires, a ripped off front bumper, and who knows what else as damage.

But it's just metal.

It could have been so much worse, and we are thankful for our safety an God's protection. I think there's extra gratitude and understanding in my heart this week, too... After being so intertwined with death and grief but also our second look and examination at how well Aunt Elaine was able to see what's important.

I could have been angry and upset at my torn up car. It was my first new car... Paid off and perfectly fine. I was going to put my first baby in the backseat of that car, and I had a lot of memories in it.

But that's not what's important. My husband was in that car... And he's okay. I'm okay. We are safe and uninjured, and our only headache will be dealing with instance and rental cars and decisions about what to do next.

I'm so grateful to have learned that my car is only metal... Banged up metal for now... But there are so many other important things. I'm focusing on them for now.

im thankful.
carrie anne

this is our wrecker, Sancho, who kept us company in his shop for a few hours Friday night


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