Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Day Six: Picture of Something That Makes You Happy

Today I'm supposed to post about a picture that makes me happy. As I've gotten older, the word "happy" has become quite the the little booger of a word to me. I've earnestly tried to have joy instead of happiness... since happiness is based on emotions. I've longed to have joy... even when I feel sad/discouraged/disappointed/etc. I think joy is my soul's way of saying that I trust God, even when my circumstances aren't the best (in my eyes) or when I'm feeling like things should be different. 

It's even helped me deal with things from my past. I look back and times in my life that used to bring me so much hurt... and I can still have joy about where I am today - that God was still very near to me every time I felt like I was breaking apart. 

Maybe I'm reading too much into this topic for today (wouldn't be unusual for me!)... but this is something that I feel very passionate about. I look back at who I was 3 years ago, and I'm proud to say that I trust God more now than I did then. I'll take growth no matter how small!  I hope that growth continues, and I deepen my trust in Christ... There's no guesswork that I will surely face hard times in my future. My prayer is that I continue to trust God even during the hardest of them.

So all of that to say: what makes me happy could change over time. What brings me joy?

God's goodness.
God's sovereignty.
New life.


All those things I see in this photo... that's why it brings me joy. Yes, I'm bawling like a baby... but my heart is so full of joy. What I see there is a life about to be transformed. I had the honor of having my brother pray for me before I got baptized, and he's been one of the biggest pillars in my life since then. 

What that picture doesn't show is who that girl was. She was a mess. She was confused, emotionally spent, desperate, hurt (very hurt), rejected, betrayed, tempted, thirsty, but ready for something new. That was who she was. After coming up out of the water, she had life... not a perfect or easy life... but a new one, nonetheless. That is what brings me joy -- that God reached out and took me in His hands... gross, broken girl that I was... and He loved me, gave me new life, and never left me. 

Life hasn't been perfect since this moment 3 years ago. Not. At. All. But I can find purpose in my pain now. I trust God more. I have reason to find the good in God instead of blaming him for my evil. I have reason to see my brokenness as beautiful. These are things that bring me joy, and it's something no one could ever take from me. 

"Grace and love like mighty rivers
poured incessant from above,
and heaven's peace and perfect justice
kissed a guilty world in love."

im thankful.
carrie anne


  1. Love this post Carrie. Very real, and it says so much about you and your character. Beautiful!

  2. Love this! Thank you so much for sharing!

  3. This post has made me cry. God makes all thing possible, especially joy. xx