Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Day Eleven: Favorite TV Shows

This is an interesting topic. Ryan and I purposefully chose not to have cable when we got married. It's a great financial decision because the cost of cable is outrageous (and unneeded really), but it's also a relationship decision we made. We believe that TV can really hurt a relationship, especially a new marriage. Controversial? Maybe. Don't mean to step on any toes if you watch a lot of TV - these are just our thoughts. We honestly don't get a ton of time together. Ryan works 40 hours a week (8-5), and he usually works on school from 6-bedtime from Mon-Thurs. If he ever gets done early, my first desire is to talk and be with each other... not turn on the TV and stare at a screen. Granted, sometimes we watch movies and TV on the computer... but that's maybe once a week if we have lots of extra time together. Just the other night, we were both reading in bed and got the chance to share with each other what we had read - it opened up a really amazing discussion and ended with prayer. I'd have that over TV ANY day. I can just see how TV could easily get in the way of our relationship, and I'm glad that we decided to eliminate it from the start. 

Basically, TV is a great outlet for ignoring your spouse or "numbing" your mind to things that really may need some attention in your relationship. When I counsel couples, I sometimes ask how much time they spend on the internet/TV and how that compares to the time they invest in their relationship. It's amazing how often we let ourselves get captivated by a TV show or Facebook or whatever... and fail to give enough or any energy to one of the most important relationships in our lives. 

I truly believe that people can have affairs without ever talking to another human being. Grouping in a third party into your marriage can really do some damage. This is called "triangulation." Forming a triangle (you, your spouse, and ______) is unhealthy, but people do it ALL the time. For example, you can repeatedly call your friend/mom/whoever and discuss your marital problems to decrease your stress level in your relationship. A triangle is a triangle when you bring someone or something into your relationship that decreases your stress/anxiety without having to interact with your spouse. It doesn't just have to be another person, though. You can drink alcohol, smoke, work out, or my newest discovery... watch TV.

 You can seriously have an affair with TV

Sounds weird, but think about it: how often do you hear people talk about Grey's Anatomy/Desperate Housewives/ANY Reality Show/The Real Housewives of _____ /Army Wives/LOST/Friends/The Good Wife/Glee/HIMYM/Big Bang Theory/ETC...  Insert any hit TV show in there. It's like people think it's real life - they are talking about the characters like they are real people, with real problems, and experiencing real emotions from the show. Not saying that is BAD... but there comes a point where you set up expectations from a show or a movie that will not be met in real life. I'm convinced that Grey's Anatomy gives some of the WORST advice to its viewers... advice that does not line up with what I believe as a Christian (love yourself, forgive yourself, self-help, etc) - but so many people eat it up and make daily decisions around those lines in the show because they are SO involved in it. Like I said, I believe you can watch TV and just enjoy it for what it is, but there is a point where it goes too far... where TV can change your expectations from your spouse, your life, your friends... and it's a bar that can only be reached in a fiction television show. 

I've heard that chick flicks and romantic/dramatic television shows are like porn for women. Without making too many generalizations here, most men are sexually aroused by their eyes and minds (hence traditional pornography being so appealing and destructive to them)... Women are more aroused by their emotions, feelings, and heart. While pornography sets a standard for men that most women cannot reach, these shows/movies that women LOVE set a standard that no man can reach. He cannot stop a moving car, know when you're upset just by sensing it, do all things right, or say a beautifully scripted line that's just the right thing we needed to hear. 
That. Is. Fiction.

All of that to say, I have a very big guard up when it comes to movies and television. I try to monitor what I watch and how it affects me and my marriage. I believe it's very important. As time goes on and we start to have kids, I'm sure that there will be more discussions on getting cable in our house. I think that maybe not having cable would force me to be a more involved mommy and not just put my kids in front of a screen (or the electronic babysitter as I call it)... Who knows. I know if we ever do get cable, it will definitely be organized and monitored as to how much time each person spends in front of the TV. 

Am I on a soap box or what?

There are just SO many WAY more important things than TV shows. I'd much rather spend time with my husband, my family, my friends... I'd even BLOG over watching TV because at least I'm forcing myself to think, feel, and experience something real. I've read quite a few books since I've been out of school as opposed to the TV, and I really enjoy it. 

Enough with the rant! Ryan and I do enjoy TWO shows currently airing on TV. Every couple weeks, we'll get on and watch them when we have plenty of time together. Less than an hour a week on TV!! :) I love that I can say that. 

we love modern family. There are so many funny parts to this show... I literally laugh so hard at each family represented. So funny. 

we are also proud fans of The Office. I honestly miss Michael Scott, but Ryan loves the new guy, Robert California. This is just great comedy. 

when I lived with my parents, we LOVED watching Friday Night Lights. Here's a show that got me hooked. I felt like I was in the town, best friends with the characters, and cheering for the football team. Scary how I got such an emotional connection with the show! 

 This is one of the best series I've ever seen. When I had my tonsils taken out in college, I watched this show day & night since I hated going to sleep. I loved the storyline and the characters. I'd recommend it to anyone wanting a good series to watch! :)

I watched the 3 seasons of this show with Ryan after we started dating. It's really really funny, and we are excited that they are making a movie next year! 

you just can't beat House!!! I love this show, and I've been a fan for many years. My annual birthday present is usually DVDs of the newest House season. I have a lot of catching up to do, though. I love his narcissism. I probably will never say that about any other person in the world :)

TV. Love it. Hate it. Enjoy it. Whatever. I have some thoughts about it that I think most people don't share... But I'm not a TV hater. I like to think that I respect TV. I respect it enough to know that too much is bad, and what I do watch should be analyzed and processed to see if it's beneficial for me and my marriage/relationships. I don't think that's overkill by any means... I actually think I should do more of that in other areas of my life. Maybe I blog too much? Who knows. Good questions to ponder for a while :) at any rate...

im thankful.
carrie anne

1 comment:

  1. Love your TV show picks. Also, I will be sending you the details on the Share Your Story. Thanks for letting me know you would like to share yours!